While scared out of my mind in a nighttime showing of A Quiet Place, I planned to demolish a giant bag of popcorn and down a vodka on the rocks to calm my nerves. Unfortunately, every time I tried to chew or drink, I made a noise so loud I feared I’d be kicked out of the theater or murdered by the sound-sensitive monsters on screen.
I knew A Quiet Place would be quiet, as advertised, but I’d never experienced a film so quiet that the simple act of chewing became disruptive to a theater. For the first time in my life I went home with a full bag of popcorn and a burning desire to let John Krasinski know that I absolutely NEEDED to stress-eat during his film but couldn’t.
Five months later, I got a chance to tell him.
In September 2018, Krasinski and Stephen Colbert were in conversation at New York’s 92nd Street Y to chat about A Quiet Place. When the Q&A portion of the event began I stepped up to the mic and shared my very serious snacking dilemma. At first, Krasinski laughed, but it turns out I wasn’t the only person to bring the issue to his attention.
The actor revealed that after the first test screening for A Quiet Place he asked viewers if there was anything he should know about their viewing experience. “This guy raised his hand and it was shaking. He said, ‘Yes, you should know that I snuck in a bag of Skittles, and for 90 minutes I was like this,'” Krasinski said, pretending to slowly tear open a bag of candy.
“I knew that [lack of sound] would make people uncomfortable and make them feel something,” he continued. “But I had no idea it would make this conversation about not being able to eat.”
Well, John. It did! The struggle to snack during A Quiet Place was real, so I can only assume the sequel will present some snacking challenges as well. The trailers for A Quiet Place Part II — which was set to hit theaters in March 2020 but was delayed as a result of the pandemic — hint at significantly more sound and dialogue, but we’re not taking any chances this time around.
When A Quiet Place Part II finally hits theaters on May 28, 2021, we’ll be prepared. When we make our triumphant return to theaters or watch these films at home in the future we won’t be fools swallowing mouthfuls of soggy popcorn or struggling to open a bag of Skittles. We’ll have some of the softest, most silent snacks imaginable on hand thanks to this helpful list of 42 A Quiet Place-friendly snack options.
Enjoy! And please, shut up!
The pillow of snack foods.
2. Gummy bears, gummy worms, or gummy whatever
Gummy anything, really! Bust out some Swedish Fish, Sour Patch Kids, or perhaps a Peach Ring or two hundred. Whatever you’re feeling. Just make sure you open ALL NOISY PACKAGING BEFORE THE MOVIE STARTS. (Keep this in mind for every wrapped item here.)
3. An IV of popcorn butter
Popcorn, as we’ve already identified, is an absolute NO in this movie. But plain popcorn butter? Drink that stuff up, baby.
4. A Listerine strip
Gum is too risky at a time like this, but if you’re craving some minty freshness pop in a Listerine strip and let it dissolve. No chewing required.
5. Twinkies or other snack cakes
Cake is soft, which means it’s welcome in this theater, as are unwrapped Twinkies, Sno Balls, or any other little Hostess cakes.
6. Spaghetti noodles
If you’re craving spaghetti during this movie you’ll unfortunately have to cook the pasta ahead of time and drop the noodles directly into your mouth to eat them. Twisting spaghetti on a fork and slurping up the noodles can produce noise, which we simply cannot have it.
It sucks that you cant slurp your spaghetti, but on the bright side meatballs are relatively quiet and should be safe to eat in this thriller.
8. Cool Whip
Whipped cream from a can is loud as hell, but if you buy a tub of fluffy Cool Whip to eat with a spoon you’ll be golden.
9. A jar of pumpkin
I mean, yum. Right?
10. Mashed potatoes
Mashable’s Quiet Food of choice. Movies and mashed potatoes sound great, don’t they? Popcorn who?
Sadly, any crunchy, cheesy snacks like Cheetos are off limits during A Quiet Place films. You can, however, collect a bunch cheese dust (aka Cheetle) ahead of time to enjoy during the movie.
12. A banana
If you can eat it shortly after wisdom tooth surgery, then it’s probably fine for these movies.
No chips or veggies, though. Sorry.
Frosting out of the can is a brilliant snack. Don’t @ me.
Cheese is our savior. It’s soft, convenient, and delicious. There are so many options, but ideal theater snacks include string cheese or a Babybel of sorts.
16. Pitted olives
No pits, no spits.
17. A muffin
A sweet cushion of carbs. So many flavors.
Gluten or gluten free, so long as it’s not crunchy.
Don’t you dare bite a whole apple during this film.
20. Baby food
Speaking of mushed apples, any pureed baby food will do. Also, I’m a baby when I watch scary movies, so this is a perfect snack.
21. The nut butter of your choosing
Spoon peanut butter, almond butter, cashew butter, or whatever smooth jarred substance brings you joy out of the jar. (Don’t forget a beverage to wash it down, though.)
22. Yogurt or pudding
Go-Gurt is also acceptable.
23. A condiment
I don’t know, maybe you’re really into honey mustard or something.
24. Salsa or queso
If you can find a quiet vehicle for dip, go for it. Otherwise, spoon it is!
Pancakes are quiet, and these days they even have flapjacks in cups. A great source of protein!
26. A Fruit by the Foot
What, if not this exact scenario, was Fruit by the Foot made for? (Warning: Unroll snack from paper ahead of time.)
They’re still good.
28. Pixy Stix
Why not take this opportunity to simply pour some sugar into your mouth?
Or breadcrumbs! They’re like savory Pixy Stix.
The official Quiet Food of Jim Halpert.
31. Three quarters of an Icee
The first three quarters of an Icee are perfectly acceptable, but the final quarter is sadly all slurp. You just can’t do it.
32. Chocolate mousse
33. Refried beans
Please keep in mind that not all of these quiet foods will smell great in a theater. Please be considerate when choosing!
34. Drinkable soup
If you can chug soup without making a peep, go right ahead.
35. Rice or risotto
Great option if you’re at seeing the movie at dinnertime.
36. Cottage cheese
You do you.
37. Scrambled eggs
Or Starbucks Egg Bites, I guess.
38. Avocado toast (hold the toast)
Basically just smashed avocado. (See: baby food.)
39. Ice cream (hold the cone)
Ice cream from the carton or a bowl is fine. You can also rest Dibs pieces in your mouth until they melt. I have tried.
40. A milkshake
Thick enough for a spoon or straw.
41. A ring pop or other lollipop
Lick only. Do. Not. Bite.
42. A burger
You can maybe get away with quietly eating a burger. But a hot dog? Not with those casings.
Listen, I know not all of these snacks are practical, and many can’t easily be snuck into a movie theater, let alone obtained in one. But for the love of John Krasinski, I’m begging you not to eat loud snacks during this film. Learn from my mistakes. Let me help you.
Choose non-crunchy foods to eat, open any wrappers before the movie starts, and be mindful of the beverage level in your cup to avoid slurping. Following A Quiet Place etiquette is crucial to an enjoyable movie-watching experience, and it’s on us to plan ahead.
A Quiet Place Part II hits theaters on May 28.